This month of tips will be devoted to Friendship.
When it comes to friendships, everything I’d been taught growing up is to be a loyal, good friend. Talk out your problems, come to a resolution, and move on. Friends Forever, right?
However, sometime a friendship no longer works. A friend has become increasingly negative…or overly critical…consistently unreliable…jealous of your successes…passively aggressive in communication…or has in some other way become poisonous to your well-being. Or, perhaps you have simply just grown apart. Sometimes, it’s okay to let go of a once-dear friend. Here are a few tips I’ve found helpful in dealing with this painful situation:
TIP #5 – ADDRESS THE ISSUE: Often an issue that arises in a friendship is a solvable problem, stemming from unexpressed issues or expectations on your end or theirs. Communication is key – be open with your friend.
TIP #6 – GIVE IT TIME: If your pal is aware of the situation and nothing changes after a period of time, then…
TIP #7 – GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO LET GO: I don’t know about you, but I feel so guilty any time I do anything that may hurt other people. Come to grips with the fact that this is the healthiest decision for you (AND your friend, because nobody wants to be stuck in an insincere friendship).
TIP #8 – GET CLOSURE: Have an open conversation, write a letter, or let a friendship fade out naturally, but make sure you handle it in the way that works for you. I’ve spent more times post-friendships stressing out about the lost friendship because it still felt unresolved, or I was afraid to fully resolve an issue being too afraid of hurting a “poisonous pal” by saying what I truly felt (in a truthful, kind, caring way, of course!).
***It’s never a good idea to use a third party for getting closure. There is no need to involve any mutual friend in your business. There just isn’t.***
TIP #9 – MOURN YOUR LOSS: Losing a friendship, whether it was your choice or not, is a very difficult adjustment. The friendship you knew and loved is gone forever. Take some time to come to terms with it if you need to; it’s okay. But time truly does heal all wounds.
As hard as it is to lose or hurt a friend, realize it’s the best for everybody’s well-being. And if you do see your poisonous pal in the future, just be polite and kind. Because really, do you need to be anything else?
If you missed last week’s tips, click here.
Playing Grown-Ups will only be posting three times a week for the month of September: Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays. Come back tomorrow to see what’s new!
~ Sherri <3
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