TIPS: Letting Go of Poisonous Pals

This month of tips will be devoted to Friendship.

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When it comes to friendships, everything I’d been taught growing up is to be a loyal, good friend. Talk out your problems, come to a resolution, and move on. Friends Forever, right?

However, sometime a friendship no longer works. A friend has become increasingly negative…or overly critical…consistently unreliable…jealous of your successes…passively aggressive in communication…or has in some other way become poisonous to your well-being. Or, perhaps you have simply just grown apart. Sometimes, it’s okay to let go of a once-dear friend. Here are a few tips I’ve found helpful in dealing with this painful situation:

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TIP #5 – ADDRESS THE ISSUE:
Often an issue that arises in a friendship is a solvable problem, stemming from unexpressed issues or expectations on your end or theirs. Communication is key – be open with your friend.

TIP #6 – GIVE IT TIME: If your pal is aware of the situation and nothing changes after a period of time, then…

TIP #7 – GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO LET GO: I don’t know about you, but I feel so guilty any time I do anything that may hurt other people. Come to grips with the fact that this is the healthiest decision for you (AND your friend, because nobody wants to be stuck in an insincere friendship).

TIP #8 – GET CLOSURE: Have an open conversation, write a letter, or let a friendship fade out naturally, but make sure you handle it in the way that works for you. I’ve spent more times post-friendships stressing out about the lost friendship because it still felt unresolved, or I was afraid to fully resolve an issue being too afraid of hurting a “poisonous pal” by saying what I truly felt (in a truthful, kind, caring way, of course!).
***It’s never a good idea to use a third party for getting closure. There is no need to involve any mutual friend in your business. There just isn’t.***

TIP #9 – MOURN YOUR LOSS: Losing a friendship, whether it was your choice or not, is a very difficult adjustment. The friendship you knew and loved is gone forever. Take some time to come to terms with it if you need to; it’s okay. But time truly does heal all wounds.

As hard as it is to lose or hurt a friend, realize it’s the best for everybody’s well-being. And if you do see your poisonous pal in the future, just be polite and kind. Because really, do you need to be anything else?

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If you missed last week’s tips, click here.

Playing Grown-Ups will only be posting three times a week for the month of September: Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays. Come back tomorrow to see what’s new!

~ Sherri <3

 

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TIPS: There’s No “U” in Friendship

This month of tips will be devoted to Friendship.

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When you’re on the go, juggling career, life, and friendships, it’s easy to forget how to be a good friend. Sometimes, when catching up with friends on the phone, I realize I’d been on the phone for 10 minutes talking about what’s been going on in my life before realizing that I’d yet to hear anything about what’s been going on in theirs.  Friendship is about what you and your friend can do for each other; it’s about balancing each other out. Here are a couple of great reminders about ways to strengthen your friendships:

TIP #3 – BE THOUGHTFUL: Kindness and consideration strengthen a friendship. If you are out food shopping, call a friend who lives nearby and ask if they need anything from the store. Do you see an item of clothing that would look great on a friend? Call them and let them know. Or just send a text to your friend to let them know you’re thinking of them. You’ll be pleasantly surprised at what your friends call YOU with in the future.

TIP #4 – GIVE AND TAKE: Friendship is a two-way street. Don’t monopolize your catch-up time by talking about what’s been going on in your career or personal life. Ask your friends questions, and pay attention to what they have to say. Don’t play with your phone while they talk; really give it your all. Life today is about multitasking, but friendship is about appreciation and communication.

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If you missed last week’s tips, click here.

Playing Grown-Ups will only be posting three times a week for the month of September: Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays. Come back tomorrow to see what’s new!

~ Sherri <3

 

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TIPS: How to Maintain Friendships in 2013

This month of tips will be devoted to Friendship.

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Here are some tips on maintaining friendships in 2013:

With so much going on these days, how does one keep up with old friends? (Especially if said friends are not on Facebook or other social media!). Here are a couple helpful tips on keeping friendships fresh in today’s fast-paced world. More tips are to come throughout the month of September, aka Friendship Month here on Playing Grown-Ups:

TIP #1 – KEEP YOUR PROMISES: When you make plans or promises, don’t go back on your word. If you tend to forget things, make a phone reminder- (heck, make 10 if it’ll help!) If you say “I’ll call you back later”, don’t forget. (Again, phone reminders are very handy.) After a while, your words lose meaning, and your friendship value drops. I’ve always hated saying “no” to people, so I tend to be an “over-yesser”. While I do WANT to spend all my time hanging out with friends, I’ve had to scale back when promising get-togethers. I’m trying my best to only make plans when I’m 100% available. It’s hard, but I work on it one phone conversation at a time.

TIP #2 – KEEP COMMUNICATION OPEN: If something is upsetting you in a friendship, tell your friend. If your friend hurt you, don’t be afraid to tell them. Keeping grudges only breeds resentment that can unravel a friendship. If you are going through a tough time, opening up to a friend for advice or help can bring you closer.

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**For the record, Carvel Ice Cream is my most favorite thing in the whole entire world. (Yoo-Hoo is a close second). The first boy in the cartoon does in no way reflect this website’s feelings at ALL.**

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If you missed last week’s tips, click here.

Playing Grown-Ups will only be posting three times a week for the month of September: Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays. Come back on Monday to see what’s new! 

~ Sherri <3

 

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TIPS: Fool Yourself Into Exercising More!

Tip Days are Tuesdays and Thursdays. This month of tips will be devoted to Exercise.

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Here are some tips on how to easily add more exercise into your life! Some were previously mentioned during the Weekly Challenge of Stair Up (and Down!) but all are great tips worth emphasizing:

TIP #19 – JUST PARK IT ALREADY!: We waste so much time looking for a parking space closest to our destination, whether it be in a parking lot or in the street.  Just grab a spot a bit farther away from your destination than you normally do.  You’ll save time, and just as importantly, you’ll have the opportunity to walk a little further and get into better shape.  Notice  how I said you’ll have the opportunity to walk farther, not that you will have to walk farther.  As you get into better shape, you will relish the opportunity to squeeze in a little extra walking, rather than dreading it.  You’ll see!

TIP #20 – THE MILE OR LESS RULE: Getting into the habit of walking and biking will help save on expenses, such as carfare and gas, and will help the environment as well. Add physical activity into your daily routine. Whether you are doing errands or visiting a friend, make it a priority to walk and bike, especially if the destination is less than a mile away.

TIP #21 – WALK AND TALK: Never sit while on the phone.  If possible, walk back and forth while talking on the phone at home.  Pace like a madman!  You wouldn’t believe how many extra calories you can burn while talking on the phone!

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If you missed last week’s tips, click here.

Wednesdays and Fridays are recipe days! I’ll be posting recipes given to me by my next door neighbor, Chef Chumley. You can read more about him by clicking here. Come back tomorrow for another recipe!

~ Sherri <3

 

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TIPS: Getting FOCUSED!

Tip Days are Tuesdays and Thursdays. This month of tips will be devoted to Exercise.

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Here are some tips on getting FOCUSED:

TIP #17 – WELL GYM-INY CRICKET:   If it’s within your budget, join a gym.  There are some good gyms that you can join for as little as $10 per month.  That comes out to 33  cents a day.  You’ll get most of the exercise equipment that you’ll ever need.  Plus, making a trip to the gym is almost like going to a meeting place.  You feel like you’re really going out and doing something.  You’ll see the same friendly, supportive faces every day.  That will certainly help motivate you.  Seeing all of those people, many of whom have similar goals as you, will push you to higher achievements.

TIP #18 – WHAT A TURN-OFF!:  But a good one!  Turn off those electrical devices.  TV off!  Phone off!  Computer off!  Walk, jog, go to the gym.  So much wasted time is spent on these confounded contraptions that we neglect the best, most sophisticated contraption that we were ever blessed with, our bodies!

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If you missed last week’s tips, click here.

Wednesdays and Fridays are recipe days! I’ll be posting recipes given to me by my next door neighbor, Chef Chumley. You can read more about him by clicking here. Come back tomorrow for another recipe!

~ Sherri <3

 

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TIPS: Spice Up Your Routine

Tip Days are Tuesdays and Thursdays. This month of tips will be devoted to Exercise.

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Here are tips on getting extra exercise while slowly building up stamina:

TIP #14 – CHANGE IS GOOD:   Change the workouts (try something new). Variety is the spice of life. And for exercises. Sometimes walk, sometimes bike, sometimes swim.. Walk up stairs. Don’t fall into a rut. Don’t let yourself get bored. It’s the surest way to give up on your regimen. Don’t let your routine become routine.

TIP #15 – REACH FOR THE SKY:  Repetitive exercises tend to make our muscles shorter and stiffer. Exercises that repeat the same motion over and over, such as biking, running, or weightlifting, fit into this category. Longer, more supple muscles tend to be more efficient. Buy or take out a book from the library on stretching (or yoga). You can even go online and look up various stretching exercises. Make stretching a part of your daily routine.

TIP #16 – MAKE IT FUN!:  Exercise should not be some dreary and dreadful task. There are plenty of exercises that are just plain fun. Tennis, Dancing, zumba, yoga, basketball, or simply walking are all great ways to stay in shape. So instead of equating working out with a treadmill and a bunch of dumbbells, try something that keeps you motivated and have a good time. But dont forget what makes you glum, I might find fun.  While many of you find running, jogging and lifting weights to be boring and tedious, if you find it to be fun, go out and do it!

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If you missed last week’s few tips, click here.

Wednesdays and Fridays are recipe days! I’ll be posting recipes given to me by my next door neighbor, Chef Chumley. You can read more about him by clicking here. Come back tomorrow for another recipe!

~ Sherri <3

 

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TIPS: Proper Care of Your Body

Tip Days are Tuesdays and Thursdays. This month of tips will be devoted to Exercise.

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Here are some tips on helping keeping track of your EXERCISE:

TIP #12 – THE BUILD-UP:  You need a place to start. Its like starting a car. When you’re about to drive it’s not a very good idea to slam your foot on the accelerator and go full speed. It can tear up the engine and cause many problems. That is why you should ease into your workout and slowly build on it. First, go for a walk.  When, or if, you’re up to it, you can try to incorporate running into your routine (but you don’t have to). The worst thing would be to do too much and then to get hurt. Start slowly and then increase!

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TIP #13 – EAT AND SLEEP PROPERLY:  Without exercise you may eventually get sick . WITHOUT PROPER FOOD AND SLEEP, YOU WILL GET SICK!

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If you missed last week’s tips, click here.

Wednesdays and Fridays are recipe days! I’ll be posting recipes given to me by my next door neighbor, Chef Chumley. You can read more about him by clicking here. Come back tomorrow for another recipe!

~ Sherri <3

 

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TIPS: Goal & Rewards!

Tip Days are Tuesdays and Thursdays. This month of tips will be devoted to Exercise.

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Here are tips on getting extra exercise while slowly building up stamina:

TIP #10 – SET A GOAL:  Setting goals are what keep you motivated. Pick an accomplishment that you want to achieve.  It might be to walk 30 minutes quickly, at a brisk pace.  Maybe it would be to build up and take part in a 5k (3.1 miles) walk or run.  Whatever it may be write down your goal, tell a friend, or sign up for the event, and work toward achieving your goal.

TIP #11 – JUST REWARDS: Reward yourself for achieving your goal.

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If you missed last week’s few tips, click here.

Wednesdays and Fridays are recipe days! I’ll be posting recipes given to me by my next door neighbor, Chef Chumley. You can read more about him by clicking here. Come back tomorrow for another recipe!

~ Sherri <3

 

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TIPS: Keeping Track of Your Exercise

Tip Days are Tuesdays and Thursdays. This month of tips will be devoted to Exercise.

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Here are some tips on helping keeping track of your EXERCISE:

TIP #8 – RIGHT ON SCHEDULE! - Put into your schedule  a specific time to do it- Instead of trying to fit workouts into your hectic schedule, look at your calendar and plan specific times dedicated to doing it.

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TIP #9 – DO IT AND LOG IT! –  Keep an exercise log.  By keeping a fairly accurate, though informal, record   of your exercises, you can always look back, and see with pride what you have thus far  accomplished.  Also, if things are going well and you start feeling great, you’ll be able to look back and see what you’ve been doing right.  If you’re feeling tired, sore or sluggish, you’ll be able to look back and see what you might be doing wrong.

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If you missed last week’s tips, click here.

Wednesdays and Fridays are recipe days! I’ll be posting recipes given to me by my next door neighbor, Chef Chumley. You can read more about him by clicking here. Come back tomorrow for another recipe!

~ Sherri <3

 

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TIPS: How to Exercise Without Really Trying

Tip Days are Tuesdays and Thursdays. This month of tips will be devoted to Exercise.

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Here are tips on getting extra exercise while slowly building up stamina:

TIP #5 – HALF HOUR TO HEALTH:  Try to get at least 30 minutes of exercise in every day, or at least on most days. The 30 minutes does not have to be all at once. It can be broken down into segments. For example, you can do 10 minutes in the morning, 10 minutes in the afternoon, and 10 minutes in the evening. Eventually, as your fitness level increases, try to do more of the exercises in one session. And eventually, when you feel up to it, you can increase the duration of the sessions so that you will do more than 30 minutes, time permitting.

TIP #6 – WALK THE EXTRA STOP:  If possible, try to get off your bus or train one stop earlier and walk that little extra.  It will add up!

TIP #7 – MOVE IT, BUDDY!: The more we move the better. Standing is better than sitting. Walking is better than standing. Jogging is better than walking. Running is better than jogging. You get the idea. We advance from beginner to advanced, one step at at time.

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If you missed last week’s few tips, click here.

Wednesdays and Fridays are recipe days! I’ll be posting recipes given to me by my next door neighbor, Chef Chumley. You can read more about him by clicking here. Come back tomorrow for another recipe!

~ Sherri <3

 

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