The best part about friends are that, unlike relatives, difficult bosses, annoying co-workers, or bad neighbors, they are the people you CHOOSE to have in your life. Your friends are people who are supposed to have your back, tell you when you’re doing something counter-productive, and bring out the best in you. They are meant to enhance your life in a positive way.
So what if one of your friends is bringing constant stress and/or negativity into your life? I like to consider friends to be my life-jackets, the people who keep me afloat in the turbulent sea of life. When a friend does nothing but bring you down, they are more like an “anchor”, who are causing you to sink. I once had a friend who I realized I stayed in touch with solely because I knew the friendship meant a lot to her. In reality, I was afraid to say anything about my career or social life, because she’d be jealous if anything good happened to me. She was also incredibly negative, so I felt like I was hanging around Debbie Downer. Her “commentary” on my life was neither helpful nor necessary. It was easier to stay friends before the “real world” kicked in, and this negative friendship began to affect my sleep and work quality, and my overall well-being. As soon as I realized that she was not truly my friend, I realized the relationship eventually dissipated. (This was a lot easier to do pre-Facebook, I promise you!)
Maybe you’re lucky, and your life is set. Your friends are great, and a complete support team. But as life evolves, friends tend to pop in and out. If there’s someone who’s been holding you back, perhaps it’s time to just let go and move on. Having 500 “friends” on Facebook doesn’t mean you have to be best friends with all of them. Alternatively, if you feel like a bad situation with a friend has been weighing you down, make time for that important conversation to try to right the wrongs. Or, if you’ve already been mourning the loss of a former friendship, spend this time focusing on the friends who are true to you. Whatever your “anchor” is, let it go, and put your mind-set back on the right track.
Stay ‘tooned later this week for some tips on how to let go of a “poisonous pal”, or a friendship that has fizzled out.
Week #3: LET GO OF AN “ANCHOR”